Gravity
by Mcdreamer91
Summary: Olivia makes the decision to leave New York. Before she leaves she gives Elliot an option to make. Which one does he choose? Olivia or Kathy?I don't want to give away anymore of the plot! Read to see what happens.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

**Olivia's POV**

**I don't know when it happened. I don't know when the relationship for me changed from friendship to something deeper.**

**But the thing is when you experience as much as Elliot and I have together for the past nine years things change. He has been there in some of the darkest times in our career. **

**He was there when I found out that I had a brother. He was there for me emotionally and as a friend through some of the cases that hit me in the worst kind of way. It's the same for me. There have been times when Elliot thought about quitting and leaving it all.**

**It was me who changed his mind. Who reminded him why we were in this job in the first place. To remind him that when worst came to worst we had each other to lean on. When things got bad I was the one he turned to. It's always been like that. It just has.**

**All I know is that I can't imagine my life without him. And last week when Elliot was in the hospital I was at a loss for words. I had no idea what to do or what to say with Kathy there.**

**Elliot loves his family. He doesn't want to leave them. He loves his kids and he loves Kathy in some way. And even though he never meant to stay with her things got complicated when she got pregnant. When she begged him to stay with her that changed everything.**

**I've waited so long to have a chance with him. But I know that there's no way it can happen now. And I'm not sure I can wait much longer. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of New York. I need a change.**

**I keep reminding myself of all these things while I pack my things in my office up in the small brown boxes that I brought with me. Casey anI'd Finn both helped me put the things in the boxes and Casey sighed.**

"**Are you sure you have to go Liv?"**

**I nodded. "It's something I have to do. Trust me on this one."**

**She sighed. "It's going to be weird. It was weird when you were repositioned and it's going to be weird now. I know we haven't seen eye to eye all the time but you do the job well."**

**I smiled at her. "I'll try and keep in contact with you guys. Craigen hooked me up with the Special Victims Unit in California so he says I'm in good hands."**

**Fin looked up at me. "You're going to come back right? I mean is this a permanent move or should we keep your desk reserved?"**

**I laughed. "Don't bother. You guys will hardly notice that I'm gone."**

**Fin frowned. "Please. You're the only one around here who can take Elliot's bad attitude. You're the only partner he's ever had who's been able to work so well with him. Everyone knows that Liv. Are you really positive that you want this."**

**I nodded again. "I'm positive. I just need a change of scenery. A change of location. I feel like I've done enough here and now it's time for me to go somewhere else you know? They need me there."**

"**Sure we do." I turned around to see Elliot in the doorway with a look of confusion and hurt mixed in his eyes.**

**Casey and Fin dismissed themselves and I continued to put things in the boxes and smiled at him.**

"**Your sight is back?" He nodded. **

"**Yeah. The doctor said I was pretty lucky. But were not talking about me right now. What is all this Olivia?"**

**I sighed and put the stuff down looking at him.**

"**You heard me. I just need a change. I need to get away from this place. There's too many bad memories with my brother and everything here. That kind of stuff. I just need a little space from New York."**

**He looked at me taking a step closer.**

"**From New York or from your pain in the ass partner?"**

**I smiled. "That too."**

**He smiled but I could see he was still hurt no matter how much he tried to hide it. **

"**What's the real reason? You can give me the bull crap again if you want to but I can tell that there's something else behind it. So what is it Olivia? What did I do to piss you off so much you're actually leaving?"**

**I looked down. "It's complicated. It's not all you Elliot it's just.."**

**He stepped closer to me again and I moved back. "Stop. Stop it, just back up okay?" I begged.**

**His fierce blue eyes held mine. "I call bull shit."**

**I looked at him. "Excuse me?"**

**He smiled. "You know that game? The one where the whole point is to deceive people about what cards you have and if someone things your lying they get to call bull. So I call it. I'm calling you on your lies. You know what happens when someone gets called out on in the game?"**

**I called at him curiously. "Enlighten me."**

"**They have to relieve what their real cards are. So show me what the cards are Liv. Let me know what I'm up against so I at least know how I can convince you that you have the wrong hand."**

"**I can't. Elliot I can't tell you because It's complicated and what I want to ask you I can't."**

**He narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.**

"**Try me on for size."**

**I exhaled a slow and steady breath before making eye contact with him again.**

"**Leave your wife."**

**His eyes got big and he let out a small shocked laugh.**

"**See? I told you it was complicated."**

**His gaze held mine and he looked at me. "Why should I?"**

**I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "Because she's not the right one for you Elliot. She hasn't been for a long time and I think that all of us have known that. When was the last time that you were actually happy and you weren't staying with her because of someone else?"**

**He didn't respond and I nodded looking away.**

"**Exactly."**

"**If she's not right for me who is?"**

**I sighed. "Someone who understands you. Someone who realizes that you can be the biggest idiot on the planet. Someone who's used to your irrational temper. Someone who can make you laugh even after the worst days during work. Someone who understands your job and why you would even want to do what we do. Who understands the crazy hours and the crazy people you work with and the crazy trials you face. But most importantly someone who is crazy about you Elliot. Someone who cares about you because she does. Not because she has to for her kids."**

**Elliot's eyes softened. "Liv."**

**I put a hand up. "Please. Don't give me the pity talk. Don't patronize me. I don't need your sympathy."**

**He sighed.**

"**You know I care about you."**

**He looked away and ran his hand through his hair and closed his eyes. "I wish I could**_**" **_**He looked back at me.**

"**I wish I could Olivia."**

**I felt the tears sting the back of my throat and my eyes but told myself that the last thing I would do was be weak in front of him. I wasn't about to beg. I wasn't going to cry and tell him I would be miserable if he didn't. It was his choose to make and he had obviously made it.**

**I smiled at sadly. "Me too."**

**I grabbed some of the boxes and he stood in front of me. I glared at him. "Move. Elliot would you please move?"**

**He didn't and I hit him in the chest. "Move!"**

**Not a budge. I went to hit him again and he grabbed my wrist making me look him in the eyes.**

"**Olivia. You have to understand me." He looked into my eyes and whispered the words he said again. "**_**I wish I could**_**."**

**He went to touch my face and I hit his hand away.**

"**Liv. You don't understand. I feel like I'm torn between a rock and a hard place here. If Kathy wasn't pregnant I would tell you how I feel. But right now she needs me. She needs me to try and work out things with her. So I can't leave her. Don't you get it?"**

**I looked away and back at him. "Elliot. I will ask you again. Please move out of my way."**

**He sighed and stepped to the side letting me through.**

**I looked at him. "My plane leaves at ten tomorrow morning. Casey, Fin, Cragen and Warner are seeing me off. I just thought you should know incase you want to say to goodbye."**

**With that I pushed through the doors and it wasn't until I felt the tears hitting my shirt I realized I was crying.**


	2. Chapter 2: Where did the good go?

Chapter 2

Elliots POV

If you look up Thanksgiving Day in the Webster's dictionary it will tell you that it's "a national holiday celebrated as a day of feasting and giving thanks for divine favors or goodness, observed on the fourth Thursday of November."

Divine Favors or goodness? What if I can't think of a single thing right now that I'm divinely happy for?

I guess that's not true. I'm happy that I have money in my pocket. I'm happy that I have my vision. I'm happy with the job I have because it means that I'm protecting others. I'm happy that I have the beautiful children I have and one on the way.

I'm happy I'm married.

I think.

But the think is my wife has been avoiding me all day and my kids have better things to do lately. So besides the polite conversation over a nice turkey and mashed potatoes the extent of my thanksgiving hasn't been all it's cracked up to.

Because now I'm alone in an over crowded bar watching a game cradling the same beer for the past two hours.

Wondering why the hell I let her go.

I stare down into my drink and feel my heart twist even worse and let out a slow deep breath to try and ease the pain. I didn't even go with the others to say goodbye to her.

All I got was that last time in the precinct. If that even counts as a goodbye at all. Which I'm sure that she didn't see it as one and I honestly didn't either. When did things become so complicated all of the sudden?

I realize that's a stupid question. Things don't just happen out of nowhere. I out of all people knew that.

I pushed the glass forward and smiled at the bartender. "You want me to fill you back up?"

I shook my head. "That's enough."

I got up from the stool and pushed the door open.

It was enough wasn't it? I made my way down the busy sidewalks not really going anywhere except for away. Farther away from my house. Farther away from my family.

Just away.

When it started raining I hailed a cab and went back home. When I got there Kathy was sitting on the couch running her fingers through her hair. She had a few sheets of paper in front of her and as soon as her eyes met mine I knew something was wrong.

"What are you looking at?"

She sighed. "Sit down Elliot."

I walked around the couch and sat next to her and it took her awhile to talk to me again. Every second that went by I felt my skin start to crawl. Something about this didn't feel right. This was the same look she had when we got divorced and a different one than when she told me she was pregnant.

"When we slept together I didn't tell you that I was seeing someone else…"

I met her eyes. "Are you still?"

She shook her head. "No. But that's not the point."

I pursed my lips. "What is the point then?"

She sighed again. "Elliot. The baby isn't yours. It's Greg's."

I felt my stomach drop so far down I thought it may be at my feet at this point. The baby wasn't mine.

A rush of emotions filled my veins. Anger, confusion, sadness, hurt. All of them all at the same time and I had no way to control them. I just sat there exposed like an idiot. What was I supposed to say now.

"Where do we go from here?" I asked her.

She shrugged. "You could still stay with me and help me raise this child."

I looked at her. "No."

She raised an eyebrow. "I'm sorry. Excuse me?"

I laughed and shook my head. "No. I won't. I won't be in a relationship with you to raise a child that isn't mine just because it would be the right thing to do this time. I'm done being with you because it's what's obligated of me."

She looked taken back and I knew that was probably a lot harsher than I had intended it to be. But it was true. The last time I was with her because I loved her seemed like a million miles away. Back when things were all black and white and simple.

Things were all in shades of grey lately. And there was only one thing I could do to try and sort out what exactly the right thing to do was. To for once in my life go with what my gut and my heart are telling me to do. Instead of just doing the right thing or what I believe is the right thing in that moment.

"The man who made this baby with you, he's the one who should be there raising it with you not me. You do get that right?"

She nodded. "I know. It just seemed so much easier with you. But I wasn't going to let you believe it was yours and make you stay if that's what you didn't want. I just didn't expect you to actually leave."

I smiled sadly at her and took her hands in my own. "I have to. I know that you won't understand and the kids may hate me but this is something I have to do for myself."

I kissed her on the cheek and went into the bedroom packing all my things into my bag. I got in the car and drove to the precinct without another word to her. I had said all I needed to say for now and I knew if I second guessed myself that I would end up staying and that's not what I wanted.

So what did I want?

I wanted Olivia back.

Because as much as either one of us tried to deny it there was feelings there. I had never intended for her to have to admit them first. I had never intended to go back to Kathy. But things happened and here I am. And she's gone.

I got there and ran inside as soon as I can. Luckily I found Cragen at his desk and he looked up at me.

"Aren't you supposed to be off today?"

I shrugged. "Look. I need the address of where Olivia went."

He looked at me. "Elliot. I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not my business to be giving away. If you want to get a hold of her you can call her and ask her yourself."

I sat down in one of the chairs. "Look. The reason she left is because I'm an idiot and I have to make this right with her."

He shook his head. "Elliot we all tried to talk her out of leaving. I don't think that you're going to be able to get her to come back I'm just telling you that now."

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "I know. But it's worth a try and honestly I think I'll be able to do it."

He looked up at me. "She waited for you, you know. At the airport."

I frowned. "I know."

"I mean she really waited for you to come say goodbye and you didn't. You think she's still going to care what you have to say after that?"

I shook my head. "Honestly? I doubt she'll give a damn but If I never try I'm going to hate myself for it. And I know that the rest of you are going to hate me for her leaving and I can't have that. So please just give me the information?"

He sighed and clicked on his computer a couple times before writing something down and handing it to me.

I nodded and stood up.

"Elliot?"

I looked up at him. "Don't come back here until Olivia agrees to come back with you. And that's an order."

I smiled at him. "You know I'll be taking my vacation now right?"

He waved his hand. "Good. I've seen too much of you around here. Get out of here before I have to throw you out."

I smiled and gave him a wave before running down the flights of stairs to my car.

I drove as fast as I could to the airport and made my way to the ticket counter.

"What can we do for you today sir?"

I smiled back at the woman. "I need the quickest flight to Los Angeles, California."

She printed out the tickets for me. "They'll be boarding in about an hour and a half. You got here just at the right time. Going to see someone special?"

I smiled. "Yeah. You could say that."

"Have a happy thanksgiving!" She called as I walked through security.

"I'm planning on it" I whispered.


	3. Chapter 3: Kiss You On The Mouth

**Chapter 3  
**_Olivia's POV_

I looked at my cell phone. It was a number I didn't recognize.

"Hello?"

"Olivia?"

"Cragen? What do you need?"

He sighed. "Look. I know I shouldn't have but Elliot wanted your information so I gave it to him."

I groaned rolling my eyes and dropping my things on the couch of my apartment.

"So what does that mean?" I asked looking out from the view and realized they weren't kidding when they said it was on the beach. It was right on the water front and it was so much more relaxing than New York.

"Well. I think he's coming there."

I felt my head spin. "What? Why?"

He sighed. "I don't know Olivia. That's between you and Elliot."

I groaned pressing my fingertips at my suddenly throbbing temples on both sides of my head and wondered what this all meant. Why would Elliot want to come after me now?

"Thanks for the heads up Captain."

"We still have your desk saved, you know."

I laughed. "Cragen. I need to stay here a little while. I'm sorry. I just have to do it for me. You get that right?"

He sighed on the other line. "Yeah. I do. I'll see you sometime."

I smiled. "Bye Captain."

I flipped my phone shut and kicked off my shoes and put them by the door grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge. I ordered a pizza and flipped through the channels realizing there was nothing on. I had a few days before I actually started at the new precinct to get my things unpacked but so far I hadn't unpacked much.

There were moving boxes all across the apartment and I knew eventually I would have to do something about that but whenever I went to unpack I never finished. I could only do a little at a time. Because it was so strange to be in a new place where I didn't know anyone compared to where I was before. And lately my work was all I had and being away from it seemed like a whole new idea to me.

After flipping through all the channels at least four times before settling on some HBO movie that I heard the bell buzz and figured it had to be the pizza. I ran down the stairs and opened the door and felt my breath catch in my throat when I realized that it definitely was not the pizza delivery man.

"Elliot." I whispered.

He smiled at me. "Hi Liv."

I looked at him. "What the...Why are you here?"

He sighed. "Can we go upstairs? Or whatever level it is you live on. Because it seems a little wierd talking down here don't you think? Maybe it's just me."

I didn't say anything but led him upstairs and closed the apartment door behind him. I crossed my arms over my chest as a form of defense so he couldn't get too close too soon.

"So?" I asked.

He smiled and for some reason it annoyed the hell out of me. How could he just show up and not even say a word so far besides 'hello' and then stand there and smile at me so smugly. I hated him sometimes.

"The baby isn't mine."

I was sure that I heard him wrong but he didn't flinch. He wasn't joking.

"What are you talking about?"

He sighed and shifted his weight. "Kathy sat me down a couple days ago and told me that the baby wasn't mine. It was this guy that she was seeing before we were together again. So I told her to let him raise his child. It wasn't fair to anyone for me to stay with her and raise a child that wasn't mine. Is it?"

I shook my head. "I guess it's not. But that doesn't really answer my question either, why are you here Elliot?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

I shook my head and pursed my lips. "If it was obvious why would I be asking you?"

He laughed. "I guess that's a good point. Look Olivia I made a mistake when I let you leave. I realize that now and I wanted to apologize to you."

I held my hand up. "Wait a minute. You had your chance. I gave you the option to choose me and you didn't Elliot. You stayed with your wife which I can't blame you for."

He sighed. "Olivia I know. But what I'm telling you now is that I realize that wasn't the right choice. That's why I left Kathy once and for all. Because she isn't the woman that I want to be with. Don't you get that?"

I looked down. "I don't know If I can believe that, Elliot."

His eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about?"

I sighed. "It's just that once you convince yourself that you have no feelings for her anymore is right when you go back to her. After a really hard case or around the holidays it's always back to Kathy, and I'm left in the dust Elliot. I'm second riding passenger seat to your wife."

He let out a slow breath. "Wow."

I couldn't read his facial expression but for some reason it looked like a mix of hurt and anger which didn't make any sense on some levels.

"What?" I finally asked after he didn't say anything else for what seemed like ten minutes at least.

He turned his gaze back at me. "It's just that usually when you travel so far away to see someone you care about they don't just shut you down so quickly without letting you explain anything. But I guess I should have expected that from you."

I glared at him. "What are you talking about?"

"You act like you've always been clear about your feelings toward me Olivia. When both of us know that isn't true. You've had your flings and relationships just like I've had. So don't you dare pin all of this on me. You know that you leaving has just as much to do with you as it does with me or your feelings towards me. So blaming me and being angry at me will only get you so far but I hope you realize that at the end of the day were both to blame."

I laughed. "It's not my fault you are totally oblivous."

He glared at me. "And it's not my fault that you're such a stubborn bitch. So I guess that makes us even doesn't it?"

I felt my temper boil and drew my hand back ready to slap him but he grabbed my wrist before I could hit him and pulled me towards him.

I groaned out of frustration with tears in my eyes. "Let me go. Let me go Elliot!"

He kept my gaze. "No."

I felt the tears catch in my throat and he looked at me. "Why are you so mad at me?"

I looked at him "Why didn't you at least say goodbye? I hate you for that. I hate you for being your second choice. I hate you Elliot." I screamed.

He looked at me for a second and smiled. "No you don't."

"You self righteous bast--" He grabbed me by the waist and held me close against him pressing his lips against mine and I hit him in the chest trying to pull back at first.

After a few seconds my will gave in to the way I felt with his lips against mine. It was something that I had waited for as long as I could remember. He pulled me closer to him and was kissing me much softer now and I felt my knees start to give away. He grabbed me and pulled me closer to him.

I collapsed into his arms and he kissed my neck softly.

"Elliot." I rasped.

"Tell me to stop and I will." He said without looking at me. The feeling of his breath on my neck gave me chills all the way down to my toes and I couldn't say no to him. He knew that.

I grabbed his face and cupped it with both my hands and kissed him softly leaning into him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he kissed down from my jawbone to my neck again as I relaxed against his body. The muscles in his arms were strong and held me close to his body.

"What does this mean?" I whispered in his ear and he looked at me.

"What do you think it means?"

I searched his eyes and put my hand on the side of his face. "I was hoping you would tell me."

He laughed and kissed the top of my forehead. "I think it means that after all this time were finally admitting that we can't get enough of each other."

I laughed. "I'm glad you're so sure."

His eyes searched mine. "There is a reason were partners right? Because were so inseparable?"

I laughed again. "I thought it was because you pissed everyone else off."

He smiled. "Yeah. Well, you know. That too. Besides unless I forget you and Cragen haven't always been on the best of terms either."

I shrugged. "Yeah well. You know how it goes sometimes."

He laughed and let go of me stepping back and looking out the window at the view of the ocean. I walked up beside him. "How long are you here?"

He sighed. "I got permission for a week. I don't have any place to stay." He looked at me and I rolled my eyes.

"Don't you have any one else who can take care of you out here?"

He shook his head. "Nope. You're stuck with me."

He wrapped his arms around me again and I sighed agaisnt him. It was insane how quickly I realized how comfortable in this position. How it seemed so much more natural and right than I would have ever been able to imagine.

"I have to go to work in a few days you know."

He nodded. "I figured. I'll find something to do I'm sure."

"You can unpack my apartment for me."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah right. What do I look like Liv? You're maid. I don't think so."

I laughed. "If you hadn't come I probably would've died of boredom."

He looked at me. "Why? There's a ton to do out here."

I shrugged. "Yeah. But not by yourself."

He smiled. "I guess so. We could stay in for a day or two though you know..."

I raised an eyebrow. "What would we do in here?"

He pulled me closer to him and I felt my heart beat quicken as he whispered in my ear. "I can think of a thing or two. Can't you?"

I closed my eyes and nodded. "Yeah."

He waited a beat and then whispered. "I want to make love to you."

I gasped. He smiled pressing his lips agaisnt my jaw. "I've been thinking about it the moment you left Olivia. Please?"

I nodded and grabbed his hand leading him to the bedroom.

This would be one hell of a week.


End file.
